anybody seen my baby?

The meaning of the song “they can’t take that away from me” was stranger to me until I graduated from college, after which I spent seasons and seasons of just going to Bogazici campus and admiring whatever guises nature took. It was one particular moonlit night that I was very frustrated with life, sitting on the garden wall at the Kennedy Lodge, that I finally figured out what the song was getting at. Nothing, and no one could take away the memories of the time I spent there. Even if I’m miles away one day, they were engraved in my memory like stone. These days I go into Ucaksavar Sitesi when I run on weekdays and it reminds me of our first days in Superdorm. I remember how going to classes and coming back was such a big deal; when everything was a big deal. It was the end of fall, beginning of winter, like now, and the leaves and the trees looked exactly the same. I remember the refreshing smell of Suzanne’s shampoo right after she took a shower and went down to the computer lab to d

we're lost in this masquerade -this masquerade by the Carpenters

no one to give good news to

when we got out of the bus on the corner of our pension, the air was still, warm and heavy with the scent of jasmins. it was the closest thing i can ever associate with 'home', as familiar as a womb is to a baby.

i wonder if you arrived safe and sound. i dreamt of myself giving birth last night. i'm not sure if after of before you left. it's weird. it must be because of rachel's birth. little emma :)

biz istanbul'a ilk geldigimizde bebek'te gidecek hicbir yer bulamazdik. okula ve superdorm'a cok yakindi, ve bizim icin cok yeni ve cok guzel bir yerdi, ama paramiz mi olmadigindandir nedir, bir turlu gidecek bir yer bulamazdik o soguk kis haftasonlarinda. bebek kahvesi vardi, o zamanlar simdikinden cok daha derme catmaydi, zaten hep mudavimleri takilirdi ve insan kendini dahil hissedemezdi bir turlu o 'komunite'ye, hala da oyledir benim icin. sanirim cats&dogs vardi ama biz ya orasinin pek farkinda degildik, ya da pahali oldugunu dusunup uzak duruyorduk. kestane diye ev yemeklerimsi seyler yapan bir yer vardi, simdi onun yerinde zeytinyagi satan bir dukkan var sanirim. orada bir kere yemistim, nedense cok davetkar bir yer degildi. kosede mcdonalds vardi, birkac kere yemistik de orda tabii, ama takdir edersiniz ki hayalimdeki sahil cafe'si degildi. newyorker ne zamandan beri ordaydi ne zaman acildi tam hatirlamiyorum. ama kapisinda menunun asili oldugunu ve