telepopmusik - yesterday was a lie

get gone

So many things leaking in my life right now. First of all, my boots. Then my determination, resolve, risk-lover attitude, clarity. Most of all, clarity, i guess, is leaking. My belief in my own potential. Life has left me pretty wounded and bitter it seems. Maybe that explains my frozen stance. I can’t act on my own needs and motives. I’m too used to going through the motions. So much that anything asking for more invokes confusion and paralysis. This thing inside me. Gnawing at the edges of my stomach and squeezing my heart with cold steely fingers. I want it gone.

“Yüzeye yakın ol ama derinde yüz.” Bu atasözünü ben yazmisim zamaninda. Bir rock barda olmak istedim su anda ve bira gibi aptal bir seyle sarhos olup muzigin icinde kendimi kaybetmek, sabaha bulmak. You’re so sweet diye bir sarki calarken.

ilkerin partisi

ilker pek ortalarda gorunmedi,
onur gürültücü bir hal aldi,
sahir cok gec olmadan sizdi, odaya gidenler onu uyurken gördüler
ben dj makamimdan pek ayrilamadim,
gülin cok dansetti, esra ve sezinle birlikte
özlem, sena, baris ve gencay terasta ilginc hareketler yapiyorlardi,
cihan karanfilli sigarasini icti
andac sürekli "sorry" calmami istedi,
kemal diye bir cocuk müzigin kontrolünü ele gecirmeye calisti,
pek basaramadi.
ben bütün bunlar icin fazla ayiktim
ama eglendim.

music is our blanket on a sunday picnic

sunday was sentimental. family situations are always somewhat sentimental and both real and unreal at the same time. maybe it's not hard to believe that i come from a family where singing all through the evening is nothing but natural. grandma and i start out with a classical turkish piece. then my aunt joins in with her beautiful voice and there's no stopping us.
i still find it unbelievable that while sitting and talking or watching tv may be the common thing to do for other people, we start singing when we are together, in my aunt's kitchen, on a sunday evening.

it's a beautiful day:)
meaning:
lots of singing from the day before
awesome breakfast through the morning
and oh how the sun shines.

home

cozy. colorful.
highly personal. at the expense of advertising an obsession with the past.
the lair of attachments and detachments.
a place to dance around when one feels like it.
happiness.
a place to worship loneliness.
indifference.
where one can always find some sort of good food. sometimes no food is good food.
afternoon light seeps in, every single day. happy to receive.
come on in.