running in my shorts and tank top on the water, it's a little late but the sun doesn't hurt at all because there is a cool breeze. despite the young and strong man running next to me, i get a lot of looks. fishermen, random guys who happen to walk by the water early morning. mostly older. doug tells me i get checked out a lot. i tell him it's because turkish men are perverted. i almost tell him i would get checked out the same way even if i was 13 but i'd rather concentrate on my breathing. the point is to stop thinking, and go with the flow but i find myself thinking how i can tell off one of these guys so that he would get his lesson and i would get what's lived there for years off my chest.
i let myself think about it, i imagine threat and violence. and then it comes to me.
you know what; it's not my defect that turks are sexually frustrated and to a good extent, perverted. it is not my defect and has nothing to do with me, my shorts, or my running and the potential of my boobs bouncing. i don't have to pay attention to whatever is happening outside of me and i choose not to. no shame, no guilt, no feelings of self-consciousness, no frustration. just a great run by the sea.
the rest of it goes great.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
best things in life are silly
like some jazz songs. like a baby's first sentences. like being in love. so was mamma mia! the movie, in an endearing and capturing way. to quote joey, what's not to like? abba, good. greek island? good. pierce brosnan? GOOD.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
rainy day
unlike most days lately, today i feel like writing.
(ask yourself: how much of it has to do with kite runner?)
we woke up early this morning. i handed him the alarm the moment it buzzed off, because i knew i would press snooze and let go - of the beautiful morning that awaited us outside. we had a rendez-vous. he pushed himself out of bed and pulled me.
then we found ourselves out, at the top of the hill. it was chilly for a day in july, and cloudy, and raining slightly, but not enough to keep us from running today.
on the way down, he kept me warm by wrapping his arm around me, and it made me happy. it made me happy in two ways: i was warm, and i was loved.
there is a certain strip when you go in the direction of the Black Sea and it's always windy. we ran in the wind with the rain in our hair and faces. i found my focus in the challenge of running against the wind, soaking. and after the u-turn it all turned to normal, just running on a cloudy day. the wind becomes your friend when it's at your back pushing you gently.
it's a rainy day in july and there is a subtle joy in the contrast.
(ask yourself: how much of it has to do with kite runner?)
we woke up early this morning. i handed him the alarm the moment it buzzed off, because i knew i would press snooze and let go - of the beautiful morning that awaited us outside. we had a rendez-vous. he pushed himself out of bed and pulled me.
then we found ourselves out, at the top of the hill. it was chilly for a day in july, and cloudy, and raining slightly, but not enough to keep us from running today.
on the way down, he kept me warm by wrapping his arm around me, and it made me happy. it made me happy in two ways: i was warm, and i was loved.
there is a certain strip when you go in the direction of the Black Sea and it's always windy. we ran in the wind with the rain in our hair and faces. i found my focus in the challenge of running against the wind, soaking. and after the u-turn it all turned to normal, just running on a cloudy day. the wind becomes your friend when it's at your back pushing you gently.
it's a rainy day in july and there is a subtle joy in the contrast.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
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