anybody seen my baby?

everyone told me about the winter but it's still nice, and i still here cicadas loud and clear. i know i don't belong here in the way i belonged bogazici, but that feels like another lifetime anyway. i'm thinking of shiny fingers and successful people and what you leave behind and what you take with you. i can wear anything i want now. i would love to be a part of things. i just ate a really good cookie. i want to cook for my husband. i want to buy kilos of tomatoes and every fruit and vegetable that is in season and put them in my fridge, just to have them, just like we had them back home. seems like people are counting everything here. there's too much calculation, the tips, the taxes, the coupons, how many cans come out of this package? too bad the metric system is not employed here with all its decimal perks. the fall, the parks, the golden trees. they are 'winter trees'. i learned so much in primary school. what's mine is yours. so he came here and he ...

Here's that day. I won't say here's that rainy day , because it's not a rainy day, but it's certainly a cozy day. This is the day when everything seems complete, I finally have a home base again that I can call my own and take care of, clean, decorate, enjoy. I have my honey tea and candle burning beside me, it's grey outside but warm to the eye and mind in here. I love those moments when the dust settles, you take a breath, look around and find that you are home. So here's to this cozy day.

balıklara neden kedi adlari vermisiz? mesela tekir, mırmır, ya da pisi balığı... bu balık çeşidini ozel olarak seven kedilerin adlari mi onlara verilmis? yoksa evde kedisi olan balikcilar yeni isim bulmaya usenip ha kedi ha balik mi demisler?

The Turkish food (lahmacun, cacik, ezme, mercimek kofte, kisir, pide, yogurt) that Tom surprised us with at the end of our first meeting at work made me feel as giddy as a child. Eating Turkish food in Turkey is one thing, which I recently did, but finding yourself feasting on these Turkish flavors, in Boston, at work, was a wonderful shift from my everyday reality. I felt so lucky. Tonight we were expecting a visit from a Turkish people and I got some tahini and pita bread earlier, thinking we had to present either dessert or fruit to our guests. I figured, if I spread some tahini on a pita bread, sprinkle it with some sugar and put it in the oven for a while, I might be able to imitate a certain Turkish dessert, namely tahinli pide . Turns out I was right. Doug didn't like it at all, but I had two portions of my mock tahini flat bread. It really did remind me of the ones we ordered on some Sunday mornings to have after breakfast... I guess some flavors will never remain just fla...

I think facebook is crippling my motivation to blog. You can say what you have to say in an instant and get it out of your system so quickly and easily. Who's going to sit down and articulate thoughts and feelings now? I guess I'll have to make more of an effort to create more than single sentences that start with my full name. Think think think...

Cincinnati'deki hayvanat bahcesinde gezerken Doug bana Rhinosaurus'un (aslinda Rhinoceros diye yaziliyormus, ve ben kelimeyi yazmasini bile bilmiyorum o kadar cahilim) Turkcesini sordu. Hayvancigi hicbir seye benzetemedim, daha once oyle bir yaratik gordugumu de hatirlamadim, ve dedim ki, 'bizde boyle bir hayvan yok, biz buna isim koymadik o yuzden'. Sonra baliklara bakilan yerde soluklanirken bir sozluge danisayim dedim, bir de ne goreyim, bizim bildigimiz (daha dogrusu bir zamanlar lafi gecmis olan, ama kafamda tam da bir imgesi bulunmayan) gergedan Amerikalilarin rhino'su degil miymis? Kucuk bir saskinlik gecirdim. Bize butun hayvanlar ogretildi mi? Cocuklar hayvanat bahcesine goturuluyor mu? Gulhane Parki'ndaki yasli aslanlarin yerine yenileri geldi mi? Bu yasima gelmis ve gergedan'dan habersiz bir Turk olarak, kimi suclayacagimi bilemiyorum.

I'm on a coffee high. As with every coffee high of every morning, thoughts come and go, leaving me very confident of my potential, of the things I can say, of my ideas - but like I said, I'm on a coffee high. Anything can happen, but what actually happens is the clearing up of the trivial items on my to-do list. The one I made yesterday morning, when I was on a coffee high. We finally arrived at our destination, and I study maps every day to get a feel for the place. If I don't, I know that I will have to spend hours on the road, changing 5 buses everytime I attempt to go somewhere. Until I learn to drive on American highways, maybe learn is not the right word, until I venture out there, I will have to be dependent on husbands, bus drivers, etc. I'm disappointed once again that I still can't have my life around places in walking distance. One should be able to wake up on a Sunday morning and walk to the nearby bakery to get fresh bread (One should also be able to b...