anybody seen my baby?

maybe life isn't to be overrated, analyzed too diligently, manipulated too much. after all, even if we're not singers we sing, even if we're not comedians we laugh, even if we're not writers we write, even if we're not sinners we sin.

that belong to pelin the pi and pel. same person, different years, same neighborhood, different lives. from 2000 to 2007 so much water under the bridge.

ilkokul ogretmenimin o yasli kadin bakisi hala kotu bir panik duygusu veriyor bana- eskiden sadece ona mustesna sanirdim ama degil. butun yasli kadinlarda o tasvip etmeyen bakis mevcut. yasli kadinlarin silahi tasvip etmeme ve ayiplama haklari mi acaba?

life isn't fair, timely or considerate. it's just what it is. a selfish, unpredictable but extremely cute child.

t i ny toons

istanbul is foggy today. i walked through macka and it felt like a different city. across from the bosphorus it was pitch dark. one of the ferries was parked at arnavutkoy, like a ghost ship or something. i like it when it feels like a different city. the city where ferries zigzag all day across.

My sanctuary as a child, was the Hallmark shop in Galleria. All those postcards meant so much to me. All the glitter on the Christmas and Birthday cards. The elegance and elaboration and thought put into crafted paper. I wanted to have lots of money so I could delve into Hallmark and buy all the postcards that I liked, so that I wouldn't have to pick among my favorites. I still keep my Hallmark pieces in my collection of postcards. I loved spreading out my "collection" some nights and going through them one by one. Listening to little songs out of the musical ones. Now that I think about it, I was a funny child indeed.

i made pancakes this morning. for the first time, off a recipe from the martha stewart website. neat, and my family loved them. on my way to being a proper american wife, it seems. i like this new house. it is spacious and full of light. just like i had wished for. in my new room though, it is difficult to wake up. you just want to keep sleeping and dreaming. if only that certain someone was here.. i'm listening to songs and working on two laptops like a busy programmer. the reason is less complicated than you think. i use one for the online dictionary and the other one for Microsoft Word. it is peaceful here. on my own. i have been hearing his voice for the past three days. it makes my heart beat. faster. guess love really is a many splendored thing. veronica mars, on the other hand, is dragging me along like a trailer car. marji e-mailed. just like in the old days. i doubt that it's a new life but it is definitely a new year .