anybody seen my baby?

yine ben ya da niye ben

still not having forgotten the coolness of that basement floor and how those profiterols tasted, 9 years later, i'm watching you turn 26 like i did some 2 months ago, looking forward to tonight's party that will maybe remind me of the miniskirt -mixedtape-i-like-alper-soandso-likes-me parties of those days, wishing you a happy birthday and trying to come up with a good idea to make you smile. i mean apart from this :)

did you see the world did you see who's out there will you look further will you look back did you ever?

Check out pandora.com . It's interesting and helpful. Sami recommended it to me. And him you can find at his music store, Groove, at Reasurans passage.

in my dream i was in new york. i was on this roof terrace, really cool, beautiful terrace, and i was running from one side to the other, taking in the sight of all the other skyscrapers that surrounded us. the sky and the lights were spectacular, and i was so peaceful, so content that i was finally there.

karla ilgili dunyanin goruntusunu birlestiren bir sey var. normalde ayri ayri algiladigimiz ev, sokak gibi seyler kar altinda bir gorunuyor, hepsi ayni seyin bir parcasi gibi. sonra bir de yillar oncesinden bir 1 ocak gunu var. bir pazar gunu nedense karla kapli bir denizlide evden cikip ozel derse gittigim ve yolda hayatimi dusundugum. acaba ne dusunmustum? insan 17 yasinda hayati hakkinda ne dusunur mesela?

the long-expected, hazardous one. the escapade of the winter. to me it's more like an excitement; a break from daily routine.

I had a Barbie doll when I was little, and it was a Business Barbie, meaning it had a suede pink suit jacket and a skirt, even a fileholder with pink on white business cards on it- autographed Barbie . And then at night, Barbie would take off the suit jacket, leaving bare the sequined hot pink tank top in it, to go to a party or something. Back then, the way I saw a businesswoman was pretty much shaped by the way my Barbie doll dressed and acted. I grew up picturing myself walking through corridors wearing business suits, but I never imagined the rest, that is, where the corridor would be leading me. Now I'm 26, I studied Business in a very respectable university, and I still cannot picture where the corridor is leading me, much less wear pink suede suit jackets.

"measuring a summer's day" and Chet Baker says, "Everything happens to me." I echo. i wonder why i take it so physically The only real part of the game is the end, where i lose. Superdorm, the year of obsessing over Baris, the line-up of each and every object, everything in its place i have only me to mend a broken heart for the tissue to heal, the body part to grow back in curl up into someone's body today, i didn't expect a heartbreak which would be at the Kennedy Lodge marries her safest bet and lives boringly ever after bildigimi dusundugum zaman gidiyor. geri geldigi zaman oyle dusunmuyor oluyorum. is it a feeling or is it a hormone, body juice, a mindset, a certain state? maybe not in a bad way, maybe not in a way i can't mend or time can't mend felt like the lost piece of a puzzle finally found being sad can't be too bad if there's such a beautiful song about it? Epsilon Sigma Pi in order of disappearance her body was probably not ...

Almost Perfect Day means having coffee at the Kumquat and discovering cool jewelry in Ortakoy and going back to Yesim's for snacks and drinks; the terrace and us in sarongs, the breathtaking view of the Bosphorus under afternoon and evening ligthing, respectively.

i have an urge to run but i'm walking and somebody said walk don't run

Sharing headphones is not an easy task. You've got to want to listen to the same kind of music. You've got to prefer the volume at the same certain level. Your share of music coming through the headphones has to satisfy you; missing, at times, the lead vocals. Your body movements have to be in tune. So that, when you're standing in the corner of the classroom and dancing to the Beatles, your half of the headphones should stay fixed in your ear while you make sure you're not pulling out your best friend's half. My best friend through high school was Sena. I met her in primary school, when we both were 7. Primary school is the place that you think you have left far behind, but is so close that you fail to recognize. I always like to think I assembled my parts in high school, or changed my ways drastically in college years, but I'm wrong: I'm scared of arguing with women, because I subconsciously fear they are going to attack me or pull my ears. I'll sing i...

this lady stands right next to my refrigerator, and i see her every morning and every evening, always so embedded in thoughts. the painter is sena basoz, my lifelong friend. 

Bir insan gittigi zaman hep onunla ilgili kücük anilari düsünürüm. kücük, komik anlari. ve onlar birden kücük, kirik anlar olurlar. hepsinin biraraya toplamaya calisirim. bazen teker teker, bazen üstüste gözümün önünden geciririm. sonra da ya gülümserim, ya da gözlerim dolar. sonra birakirim, kalir öyle.

time to ask for ben's help to put it into black and white: yes indeed i'm alone again well there's the rest of the song as well but i don't know how that applies to me, as i don't know how i feel, nor what to say. but it goes like, and here comes emptiness crashing in it's either love or hate i can't find in between cos i've been with witches and i've been with a queen it wouldn't have worked out anyway so now it's just another lonely day- seems like the right thing to say.

she came on the 21st and we first met on friday at the modern art museum (sorry i was unmistakably late). the view was spectacular that day when we were having lunch. i still can't get over the color of the sky. we shared a creme brulee which was really nice. the artworks were notable too. i loved what Louise Bourgeois did with those vintage-looking fabrics, understandable, considering how much time i spend with fabrics. and Ghada Amer: she made me realize what i had forgotten; how art can get through to that secret little crevice in you and drop a bomb of colors and threads and images. saturday night we were at taps, we met harvey, they drank beer, we danced a little. sunday was karin's christmas brunch and yesim came with me. karin provided an awful lot of food, which we consumed in a wintery feeling of indulgence and happiness. wednesday night we went to derin's parents' christmas party (yeah the oreo truffles). thursday we met at bebek, had breakfast and headed for ...