21 mart'i bekleyemedim

Yarin bahar gelmis olacak sevgili dostum, evet, bahar gelecek. Yepyeni umutlar üreteceğiz. Umutlarimiz boslukta sallanacak, maviden oteye gidemeyecek. Duslerimiz hic gerceklesmemek uzere bir kez daha dolacak icimize. Bizi duskirikligina ugratacak olanlari yine cok sevecegiz. Sonra onlar da gidecek. Hersey birer ani olacak. Birgun sokakta yururken animsayip gulumseyecegim hafifce. Yine bir bahar baslangici olacak ve ben beni duskirikligina ugratmayacak olduguna inandigim insanlarin yanina gidiyor olacagim. Nereye kadar?

-serife tekin

dear march

Dear March, come in!
How glad I am!
I looked for you before.
Put down your hat—
You must have walked—
How out of breath you are!
Dear March, how are you?
And the rest?
Did you leave Nature well?
Oh, March, come right upstairs with me,
I have so much to tell!

I got your letter, and the bird’s;
The maples never knew
That you were coming,—I declare,
How red their faces grew!
But, March, forgive me—
And all those hills
You left for me to hue;
There was no purple suitable,
You took it all with you.

Who knocks? That April!
Lock the door!
I will not be pursued!
He stayed away a year, to call
When I am occupied.
But trifles look so trivial
As soon as you have come,
That blame is just as dear as praise
And praise as mere as blame.

-emily dickinson, complete poems. part: nature, LXXXVII

baby it's you

sha la la la la la la

biz babamla

sabahlari, rafadan yumurtanin kabugunun altinda nadiren olusan ozel bir renk arardik. somon-eflatun-turuncu arasinda mucizevi bir renkti bu, ve yumurtanin ozel bir pisme suresi vardi onu yakalamak icin. sonra nedense unuttuk boyle bir sey oldugunu (read: ben yumurta yemeye alistim). bir de bazen, geceden yumurtanin uzerine adimi yazardik ya da birseyler cizerdik. sabah sorardim pelin yazan yumurtayi pisirdin mi diye. ilkokul 1'de olmam lazim o siralar. babamin bana sabahlari kalkmak icin verdigi sebepler.

truman capote by henri cartier-bresson

like i said, i visited the Henri Cartier-Bresson: Photographer exhibition at the Pera Museum. it felt good to be surrounded by black and white only. the images- some merely faded impressions of far far away lands and foreign people, some speaking right into my heart, some invoking a smile. truman capote, a portrait especially meaningful to me because of breakfast at tiffany's, was the one i thought captured my soul bit by bit.

i just listened to myself on the radio. recording and listening are two VERY different things. on the studio i was this young jazz singer. while listening i'm her mother.

quote

... seventeen miles if you were a bird, fifty-two miles if a passenger in one of the lemon-colored Pullman coaches of the Virginia and Truckee Railroad ...

-Susan Sontag, In America

lise arkadasinla takilmanin komik ve guzel yanlari

-6 ay sonra ani bir telefonla kararlastirip bulustugunda, kollarini acmis orda seni beklemektedir
-nerde kalindigi degil, nerde olundugu onemlidir
-ortakoyde gunesin altinda bir bankta oylesine oturup ondan bundan sikayet edilebilir
-"senin turnikeye girisini hatirliyorum" diye bir laf duyabilirsin, eger sol elinle pet siseyi arka caprazda duran cop kutusuna atmaya calisirsan
-ayni turnikeye giris icin "guzeldi bence" diye bir yorum yapabilirsin
-otobuste denizli anadolu lisesi ogretmenlerinden bahsederken -evet hâlâ-, yaninizda duran hanimkizdan 'denizlili misiniz, ben de' diye bisey duyabilirsiniz
-henri cartier-bresson sergisine gitmek icin cok yalvarmak gerekmez
-ihrac fazlasi alisverisi yapilir, tanidik indirimi yaptirilir
-metronun ilgili duraginda, 6 ay sonra gorusuruz diye ayrilinir.

thanks bee-vee:)

i will be on the radio Saturday 25th, 2:00pm istanbul time. two of my recordings will be played, and the entire track list is composed of my favorite tunes.
ntv radyo 102.8
streaming: www.ntvmsnbc.com/ntv/ntvradyo/default.asp

what's with me?

i know that one does not expect me of all people to visit websites about marketing, branding, sales, etc. but i do, sometimes. i like to hear CEOs talk about their passion for their brand and compassion about their customers. this is the colorful, musical side of the real world i keep out. i like feeling like i can grasp it ever so often, only to drop quickly. it reminds me of the days that the Economist of Businessweek pages were my class readings; homeworks i procrastinated for one more turkish coffee or another visit to the computer lab. here's a site i like exploring:
www.brandautopsy.typepad.com

asure ayi baslamistir

(levent'te bir kuruyemiscinin kapisindan)
(ben yedim)

on who we are

is there as much to say
on who we are-
as we like to believe there is?
are we really young and opinionated?
deep and love-driven?
sophisticated and this and that?
i'm just curious.

lynnk

http://sena.atspace.com

must-listens

Povo - Million Ways
Zero 7 - In the Waiting Line
Frou Frou - Let Go
Carly Simon - Alone Together
India Arie - Back to the Middle
Sara Lazarus - Morning
El Debarge - I'll be There
The Beatles - Real Love
The Beatles - Here There and Everywhere

a life rather ordinary

Hillside, Superdorm, Bebek, Bebek Parki, Bebek'te yuruyerek gecirilen aksamlar ve pazar ogleden sonralari, Cihangir, Leyla, kahvaltilar, kapiyi acmak ve onu gormek, kapiyi acmasi ve iceri girmek, bazi sarkilar, New Balance, The OC, Reasurans, Akmerkez Remzi, bilgisayarini yapabilicek biri, bazi hayaller, kupeler, toplanmayan saclar, Brazil, Sushi, coffee table books, ben yemek yaparken ortalarda gezinen biri, Breakfast at Tiffany's, istanbul'da yaz, Yufka, midye dolma ve Sehmuz abi, sahil ve baskalarinin evleri, what if sorusu

esya

bizi nesnelere bu kadar baglayan ne, ne olabilir? odamdaki küçüklü büyüklü nesneler ve esya, teker teker hepsiyle bir bag kurmus olmam, bana kendimi daha iyi, daha kendim hissettirmeleri nasıl açıklanabilir mesela? sunu çok net hatırlıyorum: denizli'de, çalışma masamdaki kırmızı kumbarayı, kırmızı kapaklı akşap dolmakalemi, almelo mug'ını, londra'yla ilgili bir karti ve birkac tane daha (hicbir zaman cok fazla degil, her zaman sadeligi koruyarak) objeyi yerlestirir, duzenler, sonra da masa lambamın ısiginda ne kadar güzel göründüklerine hayret eder, derin bir nefes alir ve mutlu olurdum. superdorm'daki bütün odalarimla ilgili de bu duyguyu hatirliyorum: kendine ait kücük bir zaman ve mekan adaciginda sana ait ve gozune guzel gelen objeler arasinda yazi yazmak, odev yapmak, muzik dinlemek, nerden geldigi belli olmayan tuhaf bir cosku hissetmek. hatta bazen hayatinin anlaminin bu olabilecegine dair -gecici- kücük bir güven ani yasamak.
"a room of one's own" böyle bisey.

the best is yet to come

out of the tree of life, i just picked me a plum
you came along and everything started to hum
still it’s a real good bet, the best is yet to come

the best is yet to come, and babe won’t it be fine
you think you’ve seen the sun, but you ain’t seen it shine
wait till the warm-up is underway
wait till out lips have met
wait till you see that sunshine day
you ain’t seen nothin’ yet
the best is yet to come, and babe won’t it be fine
the best is yet to come, come the day you're mine

come the day that your mine
i’m gonna teach you to fly
we’ve only tasted the wine
we’re gonna drain that cup dry

wait till your charms are right, for these arms to surround
you think you’ve flown before, but you ain’t left the ground
wait till you’re locked in my embrace
wait till i hold you near
wait till you see that sunshine place
ain’t nothin’ like it here
the best is yet to come, and babe won’t it be fine
the best is yet to come, come the day you're mine


* sevdigim bir sarkidir. inanmak istedigim de bir sarkidir. özge söylerdi bunu, 'come the day'de ferit'in bir boleroya gecisi vardi ki, tekrar dinlemek icin cok sey verebilirdim. nancy wilson ve stacey kent yorumlari guzeldir.

transit

Gifts

Personal relationships will take on particular significance under this influence. People you haven't seen for some time may, directly or indirectly, remind you of shared experiences. Although these memories might be painful, they give you the opportunity to realize that any deep or emotional relationship was in fact a gift. We often only come to this realization many years later, because our most healing experiences often occur within relationships to people we might wish we had never met.
You may feel that the time is now ripe to end some of your long-standing partnerships and friendships. By keeping relationships alive which only continue to survive in your imagination you could prevent yourself from having new relationships and experiences which more accurately reflect your present state of inner maturity. How we relate to others can teach us a great deal about how we relate to ourselves. Entering into private or professional partnerships which end up hurting you is an unmistakable sign that you do not really value yourself, and probably believe that you don't deserve any better. You should now try to uncover the deeper lying causes behind such self-denial. Experiences in childhood or early adolescence probably left you feeling ashamed and inferior, and such feelings continue to affect the pattern of your present relationships. Only when you can love and value the person you are today will you attract people who can truly help you with your future development.
Transit selected for today: Chiron Opposition Ascendant
activity period from beginning of February 2006 until middle of December 2006.

i like to be alone and i seek solitude.
i like to be with people and i seek company.
and sometimes, both.

it's so difficult for me to answer this type of personality test questions.

flow

dün aksam sarkı söylemek bana söyle hissettirdi:
her zaman degil ama bazi anlarda, sesim duru ve yogun bir maddeymis gibi geldi. sonra birsuru yeni melodiler geldi. hic dusunmeden, simdi bunu neresinden tutsam da degistirsem demeden, sesim kendi olanaklari icinde oynayiverdi orijinallerle.
iste boyle zamanlarda birsuru yeni caz sarkisi ogrenmek, gitarimin telini yaptirmak, yine sahnede olmak, muzisyenlerle takilmak istiyorum. my addiction to the golden dust of stage.

this is a diary moment

snow falling down in big, feathery, twirling pieces. music on the background (sometimes on the foreground), either india arie saying "come back to the middle" or imogen heap, "just hear me out, i'm not over you yet". We are literally screaming like kids at the sight of the faster-falling snowflakes, let down when it slows down. I made a season's special--milk with nescafe, honey and cocoa. I turn my head and look out the window, see all white. Save for two pine trees and bits of rooftops that yet remain uncovered. soon they will be 'under a blanket of white'. "wasting my time in the waiting line" i'm trying to download some more songs of Feist. was going to write more but then i heard the news and don't know what to do next.

write-up series 3

Your Graduation Horoscope
As the New Moon squares with the month of July, and a trine is formed with the Big Dipper (the skinny one), you will find your life making a complete change. The New Moon shows us a shedding of old ways and a venture into new worlds. As you look back, you may find a different person than the one you have become; all your energies (positive and negative) have formed the amazing, beautiful person that you are today. Not only have you grown and found yourself, but helped others grow as well, leaving lifelong impressions. Remember that crazy girl with the short red hair the day she couldn’t even figure out her sheets? Through late-night chats curled up in bed, extensive coffee fortune readings, excursions around town, breakfasts at the pastane, darling text messages, and even quiet nights studying and listening to music, you’ve turned another’s life upside down. Peace, comfort, happiness, drama, excitement, even a good sadness occasionally…all have been given by you to another, and that is a wonderful gift. Just as you’ve touched this crazy person’s life, you have affected so many more with your love and caring and passion. So as Venus is in transition with Sputnik, the future brings for you all you have given and more. Your inner fire will now have a chance to burn and shine for the world like it should. Not because of the position of the stars and planets, but because you worked for what will come and deserve all that’s ahead. Keep on dreaming, baby; if you can think it, you can do it! Always remember that you are loved the world over…by me!
Written exclusively for Pelin my Pi by ESP Astrologers
-emily to me, spring'02

the aftertaste is the same
no matter what the taste

write-up series 1

You know what a perfect day would be like? You and I would be getting up late in our beds next to each other with the window beside us, the summer breeze coming in and waking us up -not only that but the family-ar voices coming from downstairs, I would see your tanned long legs from where I lay and think it's cute, we would go down to the smells of menemen and corn bread and have the perfect mediterannean breakfast. The day would unwrap slowly, taking us to the beach and back, and we would welcome the evening riding our bikes alongside the sunset. At night I would drive us to town, all dressed-up, walking the streets feeling gorgeous. We would dance the night away at Car Cemetery, ending up in our beds where sneaked into just in time, or maybe a little too late? And all over again, tomorrow, and the other day; if and only if, there was a way we could turn back time.
Store those scents, moments and colors for me and I promise to always be right here, sharing living spaces, outfits, make-up stuff, healthy food, our dad and the rest of our family, sharing my life with you; as it turns out in the end, nothing can mean more than a little sister who has been there from the very beginning.
-myself to my sister, spring'05

write-up series 2

Bu yillik yazisi bir geceyarisi “update”inden sonra yazilmakta :) Az önceki kikirdamalarim ve heyecanli bagrismalarim yüzünden uyanan annem gelip kizim kimle konusuyorsun bu saatte dedi. Ve seninle oldugunu söyledigimde suratina bir gülümseme yayildi.. cadilar niye sasiriyorum ki dedi :) Benim icin isletme bölümünün en güzel yani olan sevgili Pelin’im, gercek dostluklar ne zaman basladiklari bilinmeyenlerdir diye bir yazi okumustum zamaninda. Bizi tanimliyor sanki... Bu okuldan giderken seninle ilgili cok sevdigim herseyi yanimda götürücem.. Dormda kahkahalarimizi sigdirdigimiz minik odani, günes isigi gözlerini, üzümlü tavugunun tadini, birbirimize kimseyi yakistiramamamizi, aramiza bu sene katilan kizkardesini, uzun sürelerden sonra görüsüp sarilip hemen konuya girislerimizi, burclar hakkindaki kayitsiz sartsiz otoriteni, babani cok sevisini, kendine güvenini ve en önemlisi bana güvenmeni, sadece senin yaptigin makyajla kendimi güzel hissetmeyi, bana tanistirdigin bütün muhtesem sarkilari ve “she’s got mad style”i duydugumda kendime söylenmis gibi mutlu olmayi, sahnede sactigin isigi ve seninle gurur duymayi... Benim için cok degerlisin ve hep öyle kalacaksin.
-zeren to me, spring'02