Showing posts from December, 2007


first day in the new apartment. breakfast went really well, we love our new ikea table and the matching chairs, we actually love everything with weird swedish names. we had pancakes for dinner, just what we needed after all the hard work. i am feel-sorry-for-myself tired but can't seem to stop, mostly because i hate the mess, but it's also that i don't want to give up and let everything lie around for weeks. i have puritanist tendencies when it comes to building a nest. it's somewhat fun though, to assemble furniture and to organize, seeing things come together towards the end of the day.
if only i could make rohde work harder.

here are some first images from what started to look like a living room:


it's the beginning of the last week of december. i walked into my office into a nice light through the venetian blinds and the room wasn't very well heated- which is OK in a weird way. people like to think they're not but i'm really invested in this place. it's more than what pays the bills. which are many at this point.

today's lesson

every time somebody's doing wrong to you, they're doing right to themselves, their families, their friends, someone.
it's a thought that gives me grounds for evaluating people's motives objectively and not solely on the basis that they were personally trying to hurt us, but at the same time i'm aware that it doesn't take us very far on its own.
need to mull this over.


come to think of it, i really love honey and olive oil and how they look in jars and bowls. the density and taste that their colors suggest. the promise of a great breakfast. i'm not really a cheese-lover though. i find all kinds of cheese very heavy for my taste, on many occasions. even white cheese.
i never thought i would find being on my own kind of dull, somewhat meaningless and de-energizing. i get a lot of stuff done but other than that i just sit around. it's like going to the gym and working out like crazy, and then not moving your finger for daily necessities. (and i do that too)
but i started journalling again, and that should be a plus. something that is hard to do when there is actually someone around to talk about the things you're writing about. at least sixty per cent of the time. the remaining portion is the laziness that takes over when you leave yourself to someone's arms. (yes, that's exactly the feeling)
now it's time to get myself together -h…


[a bowl of honey on a bluegrey cloudy/sunny day]

you're 28

...and your family's claim on your body continues. after all, they made you haven't they? from determining how much you should weigh to how intimate you should get, they pull invisible strings and it's called love.

Da Mario

here i am at damario for my 'birthday lunch' with deni and round midnight was playing as i walked in-- my destiny theme with jazz songs not surprising anymore but pleasant. this place is blissful in a way i can't even begin to explain. the black&white theme goes so well with the light that comes in through the many windows and the magnolia trees in the garden, and i look at the bosphorus as i sit. i can't help but wonder how i can absorb more. but then shouldn't i just live the moment?
for some reason i like italian restaurants a lot. that was a good lunch with deni. she looked beautiful and we had a good talk as always. we exchanged presents.
then i came home, changed into my running gear and headed out towards the waterfront and ran for a good 35 mins. my legs were so happy to get back to the routine we had to leave last weekend for the engagement party trip to denizli and all that followed later on.
i miss doug and his kisses on my face as a half-asleep …