Showing posts from 2010

Friendship Divorce

Today, I will just copy and paste from Goop. I thought this might be an interesting, food-for-thought topic since this is such a big time of change for all of us. I hope Ms. Paltrow won't mind.

“What do you do when you realize that although you may have years of history, and found real value in each other in times past, that you kind of don't like a friend anymore? That, after time spent with this person, you feel drained, empty, belittled or insulted. My father always used to tell me that, ‘you can't make new old friends.’ How do you distinguish if someone in your life makes you change for the better or if you are better off without them?”

Elizabeth Mattis-Namgyel replies:

I appreciate the wisdom in this statement, “We can’t make new old friends.” There is something noble about honoring our history with others. In the context of your question, it also opens a door to an even deeper inquiry: “What does it mean to be a friend?” and “What is our responsibility to others?”

I was …

Snow II

the snow is falling down at a perfect pace. i can't quite pinpoint what memory it brings back - a frame from a cartoon? a christmas card? no idea. just peace. and coffee.
i cannot believe how fun and rich massachusetts is. i used to be so reluctant to come out here. even the cold -which hasn't actually been so unpleasant- is a new challenge and i like it. there is a visual texture here that is so familiar and enchanting. the architecture and the nature. the color of the sky and the surroundings just before it rains. the quaint little shops and the scenery that flows by when you take the train. i'm almost over my ex-fiance istanbul and past crush new york.


aft çıktığında mesela, eczaneye ilaç almaya gidersin, eczacı ilacı yarısaydam pembe bir kağıtla paketler, verirken de geçmiş olsun der. ve o an çok rahatlatıcı bir andır - eczacı derdini anlamış ve sana geçmiş olsun demiştir. iyileşme sanki o andan itibaren başlar.


Snow has always been a happy thing for me. And it's important and rare enough that when it snows, you get together with the neighbors and go to the forest where the snow is untouched, and throw snowballs and each other, and take pictures. In those pictures, your car is a white Renault. If you're a little older and it snows on a school day, you get together with some friends and cut school. You hit the forest again. This time, maybe not exactly to throw snowballs at each other but to go on a journey, an adventure. To feel independent but at the same time, part of a group. Part of an independent and adventurous group.
Boston has given me some snow, but not enough to make me feel the same joy I had felt in those years. Maybe it's because it's not a rare thing but something that just naturally happens when you live in a colder climate. Something else has happened, though. Part of me started to like the cold. That part of me got to like the challenge of surviving in really …

After the break

So, I'm back in Boston. It feels really good to be back. When I used to have gigs at Nardis or Kemanci, the first set would always be marked by a nervous, uptight feel. Then we would take a break and I would go down, walk around and talk to people. The second time around on the stage was always easier, as if I had a chance to leave my body and look at the whole thing from the outside and decided that it's going well. I got a similar feeling getting back here. I did the first set, took a break, and now I'm back for the second set. When you're in a flow, it's almost impossible stop it and distance yourself from it to get a perspective. A short break in the middle is essential in all games.