fragments

"measuring a summer's day"

and Chet Baker says, "Everything happens to me." I echo.


i wonder why i take it so physically


The only real part of the game is the end, where i lose.


Superdorm, the year of obsessing over Baris, the line-up of each and every object, everything in its place

i have only me to mend a broken heart

for the tissue to heal, the body part to grow back in


curl up into someone's body


today, i didn't expect a heartbreak

which would be at the Kennedy Lodge

marries her safest bet and lives boringly ever after


bildigimi dusundugum zaman gidiyor. geri geldigi zaman oyle dusunmuyor oluyorum.


is it a feeling or is it a hormone, body juice, a mindset, a certain state?


maybe not in a bad way, maybe not in a way i can't mend or time can't mend


felt like the lost piece of a puzzle finally found


being sad can't be too bad if there's such a beautiful song about it?


Epsilon Sigma Pi


in order of disappearance


her body was probably not a wonderland


it's actually how i feel as opposed to being merely an ice-breaker


seviyorum kendilerini


"i'm just a shot away from you"


asik olurmusum ve daha da asik olurmusum gibi


yolculugu severim belki o yuzden


But at least i know my mistakes in this one and that i might have deserved some of it, that some of it is consequences -- whereas when you jump into something instantly intense, you keep wondering what the hell you've done wrong to suffer all the aching.


herkesi unuttum ve kimseyi hatirlamiyorum


it will be a short term memory type of thing


a smile and an easy breath


natural, is the word


thankful for all my senses, seeing the sky, feeling the cold, remembering how we walked those streets wanting to be somewhere else instead.


perfectionista olmayi ben de istemezdim ama


what do i really want?
(i want to be a part of it, New York, New York)


feels like he wants a piece of my soul and i am not able to give it

try to take a walk and the shore will be really windy. stay home and clean but you know you could have been travelling with a good friend. yeah, the bug is inside you now.


love, an issue?


Başladığım ve bitirmediğim şeyler:


not like aching missing but remembering-and-smiling missing


daha bu sabah cocuklugunu dusunmustum -- dedemin bizi tanistirdigi gunu dusunmustum.


stingy bees in butterfly disguise


bana gunes sutu surerken babamin parmaklarinin kaburgalarimin uzerinden tikir tikir gecmesi, her seferinde, jaluziden asagi inen bir el gibi


Guzel bir ruzgar var. Uzaktayim. Aklim tam olarak oyle mi bilmiyorum ama vucudum oyle.


both lip-synching to Something Stupid


my dancing, jitterbug self


choose the funny approach


shelter, food, and people to travel with, people you love.


Bliss. Home. Breakfast. Coffee. Joy.


came home feeling like a left out kid


what his grown-up self looks like


Otherwise i'm just trying things on. taking risks and gambling with my life in a sense. i lose, but i win too.

*these are cut-outs from my recent journal.