D

insan uzun zaman sonra buyudugu yere gidince geri donup orasiyla ilgili birseyler yazmak zorundaymis gibi hissediyor.
halbuki denizli ile ilgili hicbir sey hissetmedim,
sadece her gidisimde ayni mahrumiyet duygusunun nasil hic azalmadigini tekrar tekrar gordugumu dusundum. caddeler herhangi bir zevkten ya da estetik duygusundan mahrum. pamukkalenin eskiden yukseklerden dokulen sulari artik yok, birkac yeni havuz yapmislar golun yanina ama onlar da sudan mahrum. antik kentten eski sahipleri cekilmis. butun bunlarin yerine garip, kuru, fazla renkli, yanlis bir istila var. denizlispor, eflatun boyali mavi fayansli binalar, dev boyutlarda tabelalar.
neden orada her zaman bir huzursuzluk hissettigimi biraz aciklayan bir sey midir acaba bu.
denizli hic yetmez.

zaten insanlari da yetmesi icin ozel bir caba gostermezler. iste belki de onlara yetiyordur. evlerinde ve memleketlerinde olduklari insanlar olmak ve gelip gidenlere cok fazla ilgi ve alaka gostermemek, sadece dipdibe yasadiklari insanlarin ne soyleyeceklerini ne dusuneceklerini onlara neyi gostereceklerini neyi nasil soyleyeceklerini 'tasarlamak' onlara yetiyordur.
umarim bana hicbir zaman yetmez.

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