growing pains

i was thinking about how content with my life i've been lately. how i feel like everything is in place, that i wouldn't necessarily change anything. i look back, and decide i wouldn't want to go back to any point in my life. i feel like i went through difficult times just to grow up and get here.
i was sent a chain e-mail the other day. it went on and on about how great childhood was, and how badly the writer wants to go back to childhood days. everyone on the distribution list was on the same page as the writer. i wasn't. i wouldn't want to go back to childhood. or any other time period for that matter. i'm happy where i am, as a grown up woman with responsibilities and real love in balance. this is what i've always wanted to do. maybe it will be even more complete with babies. but for the moment i'm content.
i look back and realize that all that adjusting, trying and erring were only growing pains. i was striving to fit into a dress, of which i had only a vague idea about the measures. or trying to grow into a pot, unsure of where exactly my roots would reach or where they had to stop to fit in. right now it feels just fine. it may change any moment -life is like that-. but at least i've experienced the feeling. now there's a touchstone.

it's also interesting to feel this way right after pluto left my sign for capricorn. pluto is very closely associated with growing up. and i've hosted pluto for 13 years, completed my assignment. i'm almost sure there's another challenge right around the corner. bring it on.


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